APP writing standards file: Farida (Year 6, secure level 5)

Ghost story - narrative writing

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Uninvited Ghost by Penelope Lively was read aloud to the class. The children liked the fact that the ghosts were more irritating than frightening and the story was used as a starting point for the children's own ghost stories. Support was given with planning but then each child developed his or her own story independently.

Farida's writing sample: Narrative writing

Farida's writing sample: Narrative writing

Assessment summary

In this ghost story, Farida has successfully managed a narrative form to create a complete piece (AF2). An individual voice is deployed to convey viewpoint (AF1) and both Gothic details and humorous asides (AF2) contribute to the success of the writing.

Farida uses paragraphs to support the structure of the narrative (AF4) and although the overall text structure falters slightly towards the end, this is mostly secure. Cohesion is created through the use of connectives and dialogue (AF3), and a range of sentence structures, including those in dialogue, add interest and variety to the writing (AF5). A wide range of punctuation is used, including speech marks, apostrophes, brackets and ellipses, to create clarity and sometimes for effect (AF6). There are some effective vocabulary choices ('murky', 'rasped') (AF7) which add to the impact of the narrative.

Although children were given a starting point for their narratives, and some support with planning, there is evidence that Farida has been able to develop her own story with an individual voice, demonstrating that the criteria for level 5 are securely fulfilled across the AFs, with the possible exception of AF4.